Silly Gringos

• Osito is not the same as lo siento
• Bueno = good , Guano = mui, mui malo!
• Oopsidaisio= a Guatemalan “uh Oh”
• Not everyone had the chance to go fishing (which is a good thing) J
• When you want fresh milk, look for the goats
• Some flowers only live an hour and a half- at night
• Fresh eggs come from the Juevo truck complete with speaker system
• Grass too long?  Try a machete! (Or borrow a horse)
• Stop signs are optional
• Drive off at the Gas station and don’t worry about losing your license- you won’t be alive to need it again.
• There is a place with worse potholes than Michigan
• Turn Right at the big tree
• Impassible road?  Nah- just fill the holes with rocks.
• For hot water, dig a well  near a volcano
• Washing dishes is a 4 cycle process
• Never forget your sun sauce and bug sauce
• Two lanes for traffic = space for 3 lanes of vehicles + 1 motorcycle lane
• Motorcycle capacity = 1-5
• Don’t make eye contact with men holding assault rifles
• Keep Connie in sight at all times (and you thought we had to worry about Marilyn) J
• And always, always choose wisely

Now let us rise for the Guatemalan National Anthem:

    12 fire crackers
    11 car alarms
    10 motor cycles
    9 diesel trucks
    8 public buses
    7 police car sirens
    6 dogs a barking
    5 mating cats
    4 roosters crowing
    3 Ice cream trucks    
    2 Gringos singing badly
    And a tuna truck -  
    yes, we said tuna truckJ